Am I the best life coach out there? Absolutely but there is more to it
I have been reflecting about people searching for ‘the best life coach in London’ or ‘the best coach out there’ and similar. I thought to myself, how can I make a statement that I am the best life coach in London, in Sofia or in the world? Here is my view - I am the best coach I can be to my abilities, knowledge, education, empathy and the space I hold for my clients.
However, finding a coach is the same thing as going on a date and vibing with them. Your preference is deeply personal, based on your needs, understanding, beliefs and challenges. Similar to the date example where you may be besotted with them, yet other people look and think ‘what does she/he find in them?’, coaching is the same.
So yes, I absolutely am the best to the clients that choose to work with me, and yet I am sure there are people who have thought - not my cup of tea.
Why is that?
Coaching is such a vast discipline. It also has even vaster array of styles, methodologies and beliefs. Coaching is not psychology. Coaching has a lot do with life experience, training, intuition, EQ and love for people. Love for people’s healing, wellbeing and happiness. So am I the best coach? Absolutely, for the clients that love working with me. This is why I think it is so important for coaches to offer their first session for free. Because it gives you, the client, an opportunity to try something without commitment. I believe that if there is a match between us, you feel that I have managed to help just a tiny little bit on that day and hopefully we can work together.
The 6 things I think, make a coach ‘the best’?
Full dedication to the time I spend with my clients - You might think ‘duuuh’, however I can tell you from experience, I have worked with professionals who do not do it. The gentle check of the watch every 10 minutes, the ‘excuse me but I need to get a delivery’ or lack of focus. For the client, be that online, in person or walking alongside the coach, this is very damaging (in my opinion). To me, one of the most important things is to hold enough space for your clients. To leave your thoughts, chores, biases, whoever pissed you off at the zebra crossing at the door. My dedication is to the person on the other side. I had a client who said to me that he was so surprised how I remember details from our sessions. During my walk and talk sessions I do not take notes. I want the sessions to feel as an authentic walk between 2 people. Nobody walks with a notepad, or very rarely. I just listen, fully. I do not pay attention to the ducks, bicycles, chatter or the cute dogs in the park. I am fully, 110% dedicated to my client, and their needs in that moment. This is why I am there, to walk alongside the person who has chosen to be vulnerable with me and be fully present. This is what I think makes me fundamentally a good coach.
Commitment, on both sides - Working with a coach is deeply personal. It is also a two way street. It is a commitment on both sides to help you the client, achieve your goals in a structured, accountable and engaged manner. At the end of the day you come to a coach to support you with achieving something be that romantic, be that a personal goal be that fighting burnout or improving your self esteem. The coach provides the tools but some of the work still needs to be done by you - the client. The coach is there to support you, guide you, encourage you but also keep you accountable for the actions.
Reading the room aka empathy - I cannot say this enough but empathy goes a long way. You do not need to be a coach to have it but you cannot be a good coach without it. People come in vulnerable moments and unlike therapy, as we deal with forward looking strategies for living your best life, empathising with my clients’ journeys is crucial to support them stay on course. As always there are so many nuances to this statement and this is why I called it read the room and not just empathy because that allows me as a coach to guide my clients successfully. It is not only about being gentle, because achieving goals is hard work and a lot of dedication. The road is not easy. However when it allows for it, it should be done gently with a lot of empathy for the person walking the journey.
Celebrate along the way - I want to be a coach so I can help people live their best lives. Although the journey may start a little rough or get heavy along the way, ultimately we need to celebrate achievements and remember that the end goal is something fundamentally important for the person on the other side. So even the first step should be acknowledged, celebrated and encouraged. It is not easy to face yourself and admit that you need to help to go from point A to point B. It takes courage. It takes vulnerability. And if you are reading this and are on this path, I salute you and celebrate you.
Less fluff, more authenticity - at the end of the day to walk the talk, a coach needs to have gone through their own journey, inner healing and understanding of the matters they help their clients with. It is like being in sports, you can’t coach if you have not played right? The game of life is different though, so in order to be a good coach, you have to have faced your own shadows and befriended them. How would you guys others otherwise?
Clear boundaries and ethical practice - always on time, always confidential and always learning. This is what a great coach delivers. Another very little talked about fact is that we have a duty of care to recognise when someone is not suitable for coaching and they need professional help. A coach should not be working with a client who needs a therapist or a specialist. There is a solid boundary from where coaching begins and ends.
If this sounds like something interesting, why not get in touch and book a free session with me? I would love to meet you and have a chat. If it is a match, thenw e can always try and work together.
